Greetings folks
Tombstone is back from a long hiatus due to a large back log of films I have to review of varying genres and eras. This includes a film series or two that I am currently trying to finish up, and a certain superhero film I will be writing up about soon enough. However, we are not here to talk about the reviews that are coming, we are here to talk about one(of two) of director Joseph Mangine's films, specifically 1986's "Neon Maniacs" and yes its as cheesy and corny as the trailer makes it out to be.

Movie Run Time: 1hr 31mins

About this movie: What I am about to tell you about this movie will make you believe one of three things-

1.I am clearly making this whole review up, as this movie sounds very silly to actually be real.

2.Someone was VERY HIGH while making this movie.

3.This movie sounds like its gonna be so bad its good!

And you would be right two out of three there, with the third being entirely possible due to the fact it was made in the 80s. But this movie has garnered a cult following over the years since its release, despite its almost unknown status among more casual horror fans. Before we get into the plot I want to state that this film is absolutely bonkers with some of its plot. This not only grants for an interesting viewing, but also a rather cheesy film you could watch if you wanted to shut your brain off and watch a movie that just runs with its bizarre premise. The make up is done by Douglas J.White who worked on movies like Desperado and The Return of the living Dead and Allan A. Apone who worked on movies like Captain America: The Winter soldier, and Westworld, as a result you can see some pretty good make-up for the time in regards to the monsters (while technically they are the Maniacs, I will be referring to them as monsters in this review, because thats how good the make-up is). Honestly the make-up is possibly one of the best parts of this film, as the dialogue and some of the scenes come off as outright silly. There is also a lot of confusion in the movie, because as some speculate, there was a lot of movie cut out due to budget restrictions leaving the film unfinished in a matter of speaking. The original script is nowhere to be found, and those who worked on it either don’t talk about it or have since passed away. This movie is pretty much every B movie Horror film of the 80s at its worst, and in a weird way thats what makes this movie kind of enjoyable.

Basic Plot: Something strange and dangerous is happening in San Francisco, as in the cities heart a group of monsters lay wait under the Golden gate bridge until nightfall. As the sun sets and the moon rise they are unleashed upon the city, on the hunt for new victims they can slaughter before sunrise. Usually they, nor their victims are ever discovered, but tonight is different. Tonight after watching her friends get slaughtered by the maniacs, Natalie escapes the slaughter but is unable to convince anyone else of the true monsters responsible for her friends death. Now as she is hunted down by the monsters, she must also deal with the hard time shes having at highschool and haunted by the memories of the slaughter. Can she survive against these neon maniacs? And just who else will fall victim to them in the process?

Kills: Honestly the Kills in this movie get creative here and there, however they are nothing extremely special compared to modern kills. We have seen a lot of these kills before, but what makes them somewhat special is that each kill is unique because it is part of the monsters identity. Hangman hangs people, Biker uses chains or his bike to kill people, and Doc rips out a mans heart. Its not really about how cool the kills are, since some of the kills are clearly half assed or just stupid looking, but a the fact that there are specialized kills and a more than just three maniacs (I counted 10, but there might be some that I am missing).

Best Kill in the Movie: I think my favorite kill in the movie, has to be when our young sidekick Paula discovers the monsters weakness and when she is cornered by one, she not only uses said weakness but turns it up to a level to make sure that sucker is dead. Honestly its so refreshing to watch somone actually capitalize on a monsters weakness.

Just for those who want to be surprised at this:

Worst Kill of the movie: In my personal opinion I think the worst kill of the movie goes to Ray, who runs right into a noose and is then proceeded to be hung by the neck by the monster hangman. Its just been done before and better by so many different killers that it just seemed a little lazy, especially considering that there is another victim in a van, and another one running way at time time. Its just very time consuming for a kill, that isnt even done very well. If this was an isolated area, and the victims had a worse understanding of the place then the killers, then sure go ahead and hang them high. But they don’t, and the other monsters have to apparently pick up the slack that rope boy leaves by indulging in this act.

Upsides in this film: This movie can be all over the place at the time, and honestly that is where some of the fun comes into it. The first thing I want to praise though is the make-up, which despite not being fantastic for the time, is still very impressive. Add to the fact that each maniac had its own look and you have to admire just how much work was put into creating each of the maniacs looks and personas. Besides that, we have some genuinely 80s cheesy moments, such as a battle of the bands , where our male hero is participating, and horny teens unable to keep their hands off each other.

Downsides in this film: *Cracks knuckles* where do I begin? So, first off a lot of the dialogue in this movie is cringey as fuck, with only one or two bits actually being either funny or make sense. One example of that I would like to point out is when our hero and heroine are cornered by the monsters and they decide to say this to each other.
“I wont let anything happen to you. I just met you.”
“I know you wont…that’s why I like you.”
This exchange of dialogue alone should make you cringe, but thats not even the worst of it. The movie has a lot of scenes where you literally respond with what the fuck?! An example of this being a young girl returning to her bike to find a fully grown police officer playing on it. While funny at first, it still makes you question what the fuck the purpose of this scene was. This movie can be infuriating with some of these scenes, and I think I enjoyed giving out about some of these scenes more so than actually enjoying them.

Personal Verdict: Personally I found this movie rather enjoyable, if not infuriating at times. With some of the nonsensical scenes taking you out of the movie now and again, it only added to the enjoyment when you see just how stupid some of the scenes could be. From the cheesy dialogue and scenes, to the great make-up, if this movie had a better script or a second chance, maybe more people would know the film. However, it might not be as enjoyable as it is in its current muddled state. Its a movie that is all over the place and whose characters seem to quickly forget they witnessed murders in record time. I found the movie stupid at times, but it fell under the category of this is so bad its good to me. Its a movie that I would recommend to those who enjoy a silly cheesy romp that they don’t need to think too much about while watching.

Overall Rating: 5.1/10

I read that the movie was released under the title: Evil Dead Warriors (Thank God this wasn't an Evil Dead sequel)

I watched a few scenes from the film after reading your review and man... As cheesy of a low-budget 80's film can get.

There's 80s horror movies that need to be on their 5th sequel to get as cheesy as this one, so I guess they at least got that out of the way early

+1